I Can't Be Spiritual -
Incense Makes Me Sneeze

What can I say?
I was sharing healing at a 'holistic fayre' in Bath and as I was leaving for the evening, someone said, 'You're so spiritual, you must need these essential oils.' She dumped several oils on a paper handkerchief, and smiling smugly, thrust it at me. I tucked it quickly into the corner of my handbag, thanked her politely, and hastened out the door, sneezing. There I pulled the smelly handkerchief from my bag and stuffed in the first rubbish bin I found. However, it was already too late - I had to throw out the handbag itself when it became evident that, even after being washed and hanging out on the clothesline for several days, the odor (and the sneezes) persisted.
I was sharing healing at a psychic fair in San Diego and a woman came up to my stand, shook her finger at me and sputtered, 'You're doing the Devil's work!' Without even thinking, I replied, 'Then I like your devil better than I like your god.'
I was working at a psychic fair in San Diego when a woman of about my age came over for a reading. She was grossly overweight, and crossing the room was a struggle that had her completely out of breath. I was rather dreading doing the reading when I realized that I wasn't going to have a chance to do it anyway - she was doing it herself. She said that she was now fully enlightened, that she was going to live to be 200 years old and then become an ascended master, taking her body with her instead of dying. I thought (but didn't say), 'But why would you want to?' She then explained to me how I could also become an ascended master, just like her.
I don't know why people think they know what is right for other people - it indicates something seriously amiss in our society that so many of us are so busy putting others right without being asked - and without putting ourselves right first. And I don't know why I usually think I should be polite to them about it - I suspect that may indicate something seriously amiss in me.

This originally appeared in Otherworld Arts, 1995
Copyright © 1995 by Jessica Macbeth. All rights reserved.

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