I thought these were poems, but they turned out to be...

Towers & Fools

I like to build mind-towers, solid places
for my mind to rest in comfort,
unchallenged by the wild elements.
But God has these wretched
bolts of lightning and,
evidently,
a grudge against towers - or perhaps
just a fixed idea that towers
are not good for me.

Just when I think I'm finally
getting it all together - growing up, in fact -
I awaken to find my tower in rubble
and me setting out once more
on the Fool's Journey.

I think I have just been warned
yet again.

All of the great ones, the saints, the bodhisattvas, and all
of those who are filled by the Light - all of them
have been on this journey. They went into the wilderness, stepping,
like fools, off of the safe paths, into the waiting hands of God.

This is the fool's journey of the tarot,
a pilgrimage that begins in ignorant trust,
passes
through all of the doubts and all of the fears, all of the ups
and all of the downs, and probably all the delusions,
learns
slowly, painfully, with much banging of the head upon walls,
a new kind of trust, a trust in the process,
detached from the goal.

If you know a good shortcut, please tell me now.

These were both written in July 1994. If you have a shortcut, don't bother to tell me now - I have been through the fire, yet again, and am quietly licking my wounds and reassessing my future. On second thought, if you do know a shortcut, maybe you could tell me so that I'd know next time. There always does seem to be a next time, even when you think you've finally got it.

© Copyright 1995 by Jessica Macbeth. All rights reserved.
These poems were first published in Earth's Daughter (please see the book list)
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