Who Is This Woman Anyway?

I still can't answer this. I can only tell you some of what I've done, am doing, and hope to do, but what can I say about who I am? Sometimes I feel like a wave, moving through the sea with great froth and splutter, but subject to being blown about - or even flattened - by the winds that blow where they will. "Who am I?" is a very cosmic question, which is subject to constant reinterpretation, and I don't think I'll try to answer it.

OK. We've established that much.
I feel better about trying to do this now.

And Why Do I Keep Writing More of This Stuff?

Oh. Another tough question. I think I can answer this one, though...
I can't seem to help it. This is just my way of thinking things through - even this page - perhaps even especially this page. I keep hoping I'll understand things, and writing them down seems like a way of getting to that goal. So far it isn't working all that well - there are still a very great many things I don't understand. Naetheless, the following might give you (and perhaps even me) some idea where I am at the moment. Or it might give you some ideas about where you are or want/don't want to be yourself. Whatever...

My next projects:

    Writing another Otherworld book, to be called something like Faery Healing & Earth Magic. The title pretty well explains the book. This is an especially appropriate project for me at this time.

    Enjoy the spring and summer in my new home, which includes planting lots of flowers. DO something about my austere and bare-looking garden so the lovely little apple tree will not be so lonely out there.

    Play with some miniature construction projects - build some gnome houses, do the faery godmother's garden, finish the dining room of their castle, et cetera.

    Slip in a little time on writing an autobiographical fantasy without noticing that I'm doing it because I'm not at all certain that I can. This is the most terrifying writing experience I've ever had. (This was in last year's projects, but I didn't do anything on it at all. This shows you how unnerving I find it.)

    Go out and keep the mountains company more often. I just bought a notebook computer so I can work on "field trips" and do my faery research and writing among the trees.

What Happened to Last Year's Goals?

    Publication of the Faeries' Oracle by 16 October 2000. - WE MADE IT! Furthermore, people seem to like it. I'm very happy with the way people are responding to the faery folk and their Oracle.
    Move to the Mount Shasta area by May, 2001 - I overshot the mark in both time and space and wound up in the wonder-filled and beautiful state of Washington, out on the Olympic peninsula, in the rainshadow of Mount Olympus - almost a year early. This place is truly the lap of the god/dess - a perfect climate and breath-taking beauty almost everywhere you look. Wonderful things are happening to me here.
    For many years I've been trying to work out what I'm going to do when I grow up. I've now given up on that. I now realize there is no particular danger of this happening. I'm just making life up as I go along. For the first time in my life that I can remember, I don't have a five-year and a ten-year plan. In the last year I also finally gave up trying to catch up on my paperwork and gracelessly fell farther behind, so I'm evidently making progress in letting go of unattainable goals. This feels good, but perhaps a little scary - what is it that does happen to people who don't keep up on their paperwork?

I am telling you all of this, not because you need to know, but because I need to remember. My notion is that it will help me to stay focused, but I'm not sure that is working either. It's okay, though, and all these things are losing their guilt edges.

Things I Used To Do

Natural magic. Healing. Intuitive feng shui. House healing. Energy clearing. Earth magic. Spiritual counseling. Psychic fun and games. Taking people for walks in magic places to help them to access the magic in themselves more freely (journeys of the spirit).
Teaching most of the above and some related things. I used to classify myself as a spiritual teacher and healer - but only if forced to classify myself, which I really didn't like to do. (I still don't - we are all so much more than the sum of our nameable parts.) I suppose 'teaching' also includes most of the writing I did - and still do. (see Spiritual Teachers, Advice to Prospective Students, Schedule of Classes and/or Services and Appointments if you are interested in more information on the teaching I do.

Things I Do Now

Of course, I still do some of the above, even though I have semi-retired from professional counseling and healing. Natural magic, meditation, healing, learning, and thinking are, hopefully, not things that one only does when being paid - or that one ever stops doing. They are a part of who we are, not just what we do. I still teach once in a while, but not often, and will do the occasional journey of the spirit. I write more now, and I have more fun with it than I used to.
In my case, writing more also means spending more time playing with the fey folk - the people of the hills, the woodlands, the streams and the meadows. I think I am very fortunate to be able to do this and consider it high priority "work" and "research" at this point in my life.
Other things I do that I've been doing a long time include hill watching, wild pool making, wild rock gardening, moon bathing, and wild shrine building (see Shrine Building). I also spend time admiring wild flowers (who do enjoy the attention), conversing with trees, and having interesting encounters with a wide variety of beings.
Avocations include fantasy doll house design, history, construction, and interior decoration. Small scale sculpting. Painting (and usually tearing up the results). Embroidery. Singing and dancing when no one else is around. Pottering around in small boats (when I get a chance, which hopefully will be more often now that I'm living in a genuine seaport with fleets of sailboats). Sauntering.
Telling stories. Although I sometimes write things, I am not really a Proper Writer, as such, but only a storyteller who occasionally writes down her fables, poems, and assorted other stuff.
Reading a wide variety of things. A Terry Pratchett addict.
Desktop publishing on a very small scale. My 'imprint' is An lios na bean bhochd (Scots Gaelic doesn't capitalize things). An =the, lios =garden or printing press (Gaelic is a wonderful language - I wish I knew it), na =of the, bean bhochd =female beggar, freely translated by me as 'bag lady'. Thus, we have The Bag Lady's Garden or The Bag Lady's Press, depending on my mood.
Miracle watching. I do too many things to do them all well, but I'm pretty good at this. There are a lot of them about, and I'm a noticing person.
I suppose my own rough and ready style of fairy godmothering also fits in here. Also, rattling the bars on people's cages. It's amazing how often they collapse when you do this - the bars that is, not the people. Well, to be honest, sometimes the people do too, but only temporarily. Don't worry, I don't do this to people who haven't asked for it.
Learning stuff. This, I am not quite as good at. However, the universe is patient and does not seem to mind repeating lessons again and again and again until I get them.
Wandering. Watching. Being. Smiling.
In the interests of balance (yes, I'm a Libra [Pisces moon, Pisces rising]), I have also made a page on Things I Don't Do. At least, I usually don't. At least, I try not to and often... well... sometimes I succeed.

I am managed by four Abyssinians cats, who run the house and attempt to order my life in the way that best suits them. However, as I am fundamentally a disorderly person, they have thus far been defeated in this. They are Samantha Callinish (Senior Cat), Sylvie Butterbrain, That Maggie, and Marigoldthebeautiful (yes, it's all one word). I promised them a page of their own and here it is.
Actually, I am not precisely disorderly. I have organic order, like a natural forest. It may look disorderly to some, but it makes sense to me.

I'm just recovering from another round of pneumonia. This one was not nearly so serious as the one that almost killed me a few years back, but I've been emphatically reminded of my personal mortality. For me, this is triggering a lot of self-reassessment, and I realize that I need to create more plain old-fashioned fun in my life. So, that is a new goal for this summer - and with less work, perhaps. As I write this, I'm sitting in bed with my laptop. My daughter-in-law, Nadine, has threatened to break both of my legs if I get up too much too soon. As a backup, just in case I manage to get up without permission, my son, Jonathan, is muttering about removing essential bits of my car and hiding them in secret places. (This is to be avoided if I can - he often forgets where he put things.) Well, it's nice to be loved!
All of this has prompted a lot of thoughts about living and dying and reasons for doing either. I'm still in the midst of this process, but if I discover anything that seems like it might be helpful to others, no doubt it will turn up somewhere on these pages.

In my next incarnation I' like to come back as a fairy godmother, complete with a properly working magic wand by Wendy Froud.

This is up to date as of 1 July 2001.

Your comments will be read with interest.